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Ah, “About Me”… The obligatory vanity section! lol - Ok, here goes…

My name is Lee Woods Born 7th August 1977 in Mbabane, Swaziland (South Africa). Currently living in Lowestoft (East Coast of England) and I am in the process of training to become a licensed driving instructor. I am one of those people that find it hard to think of things to write about myself, what is interesting and what is not? How does one make oneself windswept and interesting lol? I must be able to come up with something in my 30 years of experience! Which brings me to my biggest achievement of all, reaching 30, the peak of the hill, and it’s all downhill from here… Now where did I put my sled, GET OUT OF THE WAY! Lol

It takes some time coming to terms with the changes that hit you as you get older, although not all bad… Birth control seems less of a problem these days, nudity takes care of that! However, always good to remember three things when getting old…
(1) If you get an erection, use it
(2) Never pass up the opportunity to have a pee
(3) Never trust a fart.

I have a great family and we have always been close. "The one thing I remember most… Every Christmas my Dad used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. It was a yearly ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack."

I have had the privilege of visiting some really cool places, having been born in South Africa, I managed to see most of the country, to name a few; Swaziland, Durban, Cape Town, Port Elizabeth. Been to various places in the UK. Travelled to France, visiting Normandy and Thiepval. (You can read my journal of this trip below) In 2004 I went to New York and how awesome was that, loved the place. It wasn’t long before I was welcomed into the New York way of life… On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here then?'."

I try and keep fit and eat healthily, doesn’t always work but I try… My Grandmother put me off doing any exercise, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we can’t bladdy find her!

Well I think that’s enough waffle about me, I have to go now… before they realise my padded cell is empty! I will however leave you with 2 thoughts…

(1) Donald Duck never wear pants, so why when he got out of the shower did he wrap a towel around his waist?
(2) Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Hmmm, the mind boggles - Have a nice day!

My email address is lee@centralperks.co.uk feel free to email me with any questions or advice that you might have and I will endeavour to answer all queries.

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CENTRALPERK'S